Friday, July 3, 2009

Hello Everyone

I know it has been forever since I wrote on here. I have just been in a blah mood lately.. I feel like my world is falling apart and I can not stop it...

I have been dealing with a strange feeling toward my hubby. It seems everything he does pisses me off and it turns into a fight. I figured with both kids gone, we would get along better but things have not been better. I know he loves me and he tries to show it but I just blow him off. It is like I need to be alone for awhile and I don't like that feeling.. I know alot of the stress is just dealing with everyday life and trying to survive financial wise, but sometimes I just want to say piss on it and give and just stay in my house and be alone and not bothered with life...

I have sat and thought about it for awhile now and I think some of these feelings has to do with my son being at his dad's for so long. I know he needs to be with him when he can, but deep down I get the feeling that his dad is trying to talk him into moving with him and that bothers me. I can not talk to the X because he gets angry with anything I say about our kids. The sad thing is my son feels like he is in the middle he wants to make all of us happy. If the X could be resposible for the child it would be different but he was no common sense about rules or anything. My daughter is old enough to know what their dad is like, so she chooses not to go with their dad.

I have been trying to think positive about everything but sometimes it is to much to handle.. Do any of you know how I can shake these feelings because I do not like being like this..

Enough about me.... I hope you all have a fun, safe holiday weekend....